persevere

Last week I, Carly, had the opportunity to share what I was learning personally with the other staff here at Tauernhof. We meet in the morning three times a week and each take a turn sharing, then we spend some time praying for other Torchbearer Centers around the world and some of our own staff. I had decided right at the last minute to run my first ’10k’- well my first race ever, and was processing what God was teaching me through this experience. I hope you can also be encouraged by what God has been challenging me with…

Growing up I wasn’t much of an athlete- I wasn’t very good at or played many sports so getting the regular exercise I needed was always a chore and took a lot of effort. I didn’t enjoy it- but started getting into the discipline as I became an adult and understood the importance. Regular exercise was difficult to make a priority during the busy days of school, working, and early marriage, not only because I was busy, but because it took so much effort to get out and actually do it. I had never really learned perseverance physically or to enjoy physical exercise, until I did the outdoor Adventure Bible School in NZ, and was surprised at how much I was able to achieve and how good it felt to be active. So on and off in the years following I would try and push myself to run. I wouldn’t say I was a consistent runner, but every once and awhile, sometimes a few days a week, I would get out and run just a couple miles, usually just for maybe 20-25 minutes before I my lungs were burning, or I would just mentally quit. But I would force myself out around my parent’s neighborhood, around the track at Moody, or up the street we lived on in Chicago…

I ran despite how much I hated it, because I knew that it was good for me.

Just this last October I started running regularly in New Zealand, and started pushing myself even further, I ran 30 minutes at the start, but then started to push myself to see how far I could run, by the end of our 5 months there, I was running 6.5 K’s in about 45 mins on a regular basis. During this time I actually started enjoying running- though it was always a big effort to get out and run, my endurance had grown so it started to feel good to run.

Last week a friend asked me if I wanted to run a 10K race with her. Another friend had injured herself and wasn’t able to do it anyone, so I could just take her place.

At first I was like “NO WAY.” “I’ve never run that far”- “what if I can’t finish, what if I’m not fit enough?” But over the next few days something in me started to stir, it was a challenge, and I am aware of my propensity to underestimate myself. What did I have to loose? Even if I ran it slower, just to finish it would be huge accomplishment.

So the day before the race I decided that I would go for it. We traveled to Salzburg early Sunday morning, and I just shut off mentally. I decided not to allow myself to think negative thoughts or let fear or worry creep in. I started off the race at a slow and steady pace and began to think about the excitement of crossing the finish line. About half way through it started to occur to me, that actually it wasn’t that difficult. At first 10Ks had sounded SO FAR to me, but it actually wasn’t crazy hard. Sure it was a challenge, but it wasn’t as painful as running used to be, and my body was in better shape than I had realized. I was suddenly thankful for every single time I had made myself run in the past, even for just a few miles at the start, running around my parents neighborhood, around and around the track at Moody, the streets of Chicago and all those mornings when I had forced myself out on the road in the early morning in New Zealand, I had been training my body to be able to complete a task such as this. I had been in training for a race that I was not aware I was going to run- I had learned perseverance without knowing what the future challenge that I would have to endure was going to be. And each of those times I had run over the years there hadn’t been an immediate pay off for working out. But now I can look back and see how each of those small efforts added up to a big change over time in my strength and endurance. I completed the race with energy to spare, and it felt awesome!

God really used this experience and these realizations to speak to my spiritual journey as well. God helped me look back and see how certain experiences and trails were training that I was unaware God was going to use later.

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Basically – “if I persevere through this trial- it will change me”

Whenever I am going through something difficult, if I choose to give up and not persevere, than I am robbing myself of the changes perseverance will produce in me.

Maybe this is how it is possible to ‘consider it pure joy’ whenever I am going through something hard- to really believe that God is going to use this thing to grow me, to mature me, its bringing out Christ in me as it causes me to depend on Him. That whatever is happening NOW, is in preparation for something God has planned LATER, and always really for His ultimate purpose- to mature me in Christ.

My attitude should always be of one in training, accepting difficulty as something that will mature me. Though I can look back and see how God has used past experiences and difficulties to prepare me for the future, right now I believe God is challenging my heart to be joyful DURING the trail. Last year I went through the most challenging season of my life so far, but I did not have a spirit of joy during this time, I was fearful, confused and questioned what God was up to. This was another time, just like all those years I ran in the past, where I was in training but completely unaware of what for.

Though I can see many ways NOW that God was using that time for my good and preparing me for the future, being with me and loving me all the way through, I want my attitude to be different in the present moment with whatever I face- trusting that God’s hand is always loving towards me, and that He can and will use every experience to mature me in my faith. Whatever I face today, in this moment is always part of a bigger picture. And I want to persevere knowing that God is working towards that goal- where I will be mature and complete not lacking anything.